Originally published at The Definitive Dmbosstone. Please leave any comments there.

OkCupid recently started a blog where they took all the data it’s collected as an online dating site and analyzed it. I was particularly interested in their most recent post on race. They took a look at whether a person’s race played a factor in getting a message back from someone they wrote to.

Their conclusion: yes it does- by a lot.

Here’s a graph from that post that shows reply rates between different races:

As you can see being an Asian male isn’t as great as being an White male.

Another chart from the post shows results of a poll question on the site:

As you can see White people, and White women, mostly prefer to date within their race.

A very interesting post, one that makes me very disappointed.

I’ve occasionally joked about my preference for White women over Asian women, much to the surprise of some less-than-open-minded friends, and I’ve hinted at it on this blog. I don’t think my taste is earth shattering, in fact it’s apparently something Asian guys like. My reasoning for this was explained quite clearly in their post:

On the contrary, white girls are many times the secret fantasy of any Twinkie. No, this is not a partially-hydrogenated pastry, but the Asian guy who has a bunch of white friends and does the things white guys do. There’s one problem: He’s stuck in an Asian body. Twinkies can be compared to a single kitten growing up in the midst of puppies. Twinkies feel like they are puppies because they are enculturated and they like what other puppies like, including the female dogs. Due to this immersion, Asians end up adopting white beauty standards. (but the same isn’t reciprocated by white girls.)

They are YouTube videos about it and apparently how-to manuals for it. But that doesn’t change the way I feel about this.

Honestly I think it sucks.

I will be the first to admit that I am a full fledged Twinkie. I do feel like that kitten that grew up in a world full of puppies. I like what White guys like: White girls.

What sucks is that White girls don’t like Asian guys.

I know I’m a smart, funny, outgoing, and caring individual; its just that sometimes I feel that I am trapped in this body, this shell that I actually like (I don’t think I’m that bad looking) but it’s a shell that’s not on the top of the list of the women I go after.

Sometimes I joke that I want to be white.

What I don’t tell you is that I want to be white so white girls would actually like me.

In today’s world we are changing the way we think about race in the workplace and life- but I can’t help but think there’s still a lot of hardwired racism I have to fight when it comes to physical attraction. I could have the best personality in the world but I doubt that’s going to make that brunette across the way like me any more if she’s into white guys.

Because I’m not a white guy, but sometimes I want to be.

If you have something to say about this post, feel free to leave me a comment or send me a tweet.  Also, if you’re not subscribed you can read this and all my other thoughts and rants, just subscribe via RSS or E-mail.

Tags: blog, favorites, feelings/reflections, girls, rants

Originally published at The Definitive Dmbosstone. Please leave any comments there.

It would be cool if more of my friends followed my blog. It’d be cool to see that Networked blog counter grow to actually match the number of friends I actually have.

Then again it would be cool to have more people follow me on Twitter or add my RSS feed to their feed reader or add my website to their blogroll.

However that’s not going to happen- and it’s ok.

Because a lot of my friends don’t have blogrolls or Twitter, much less understand how widgets on Facebook work.

I’m that friend, not the Token Asian, but the token techno geek.

Besides friends I have made through blogging, I think I’m the only one my many social circles that actively writes in blogs and engages in social media tools like Twitter.

While on The OBX this past year we were eating pizza while somebody was trying to explain what was this new phenomenon called Twitter.

Falkor piped up that I must be on it- and he was right.

Facebook and Gmail is more ubiquitous in our culture, however Twitter and blogging isn’t contrary to what you would believe.

In fact when I hang out with my friends, and they ask, “what’s up.” I’ll just retell stories I blogged about- because I know a lot of my friends don’t read my blog.

Now I have a small audience and that’s really great- because in the end I write in this blog, for myself first. However I do appreciate my audience and I am glad you find me interesting.

I just find it really interesting how my blog has grown to become a good part of my life and while it’s open for the public to consume, it remains largely untouched by some groups of my friends.

Maybe I’m just more plugged-in than they are.

Tags: blog, feelings/reflections, friends, rants

Originally published at The Definitive Dmbosstone. Please leave any comments there.

Photo by SpaceCowGirl

“I had an amazing time in DC and really sad to be leaving. It was a cutesy and romantical weekend. We are planning to see each other in June and hopefully he’ll be able to plan a trip to NC. I think things may be different between us if we lived a little bit closer together, it’s a little bit fun to think about..but who knows. He is such a great guy and I really like him a lot.”

She’s right- we are nice to think about, I really like her a lot and I want to see her again. However we are still back at square one: she’s in Massachusetts and I’m here. She’ll soon be in North Carolina and I’ll still be here. She’s committed to living in NC for a year but she’s open to anything after that. As my friend Katie says, the timing is all wrong.

We never saw each other again in June. I am not planning a trip to North Carolina.

That was the end of a post, a post I never published. I wrote this after a weekend in April and I was wary on airing out my thoughts on someone I was currently interested in. That’s backfired on me before.

After some consultation I decided to scrap the post. This week I dug up, “the lost post” as I try to put some closure on yet another female love interest.

I was driving my friend Diana home this past weekend and she told me a story of two friends in Canada. They’ve been in a long standing relationship but the couple decided to split. Diana expressed to me her displeasure in the fact they are now dating other people.

“He was supposed to wait for her,” Diana said as we drove through Alexandria, “they are supposed to get back together!”

It wasn’t the happily ever after story that she (and the world) envisioned.

I want to say, “I want you to wait for me.” But wait til when? For what?

What we shared wasn’t a relationship spanning years; what we shared was a weekend here and a weekend there. However the dream of a happily ever after still existed for me as it probably did for Diana’s friend.

That girl didn’t wait for me and I don’t blame her.

We were nothing but a pipe dream, something to keep me going, a hope that maybe I found somebody that made me happy. She did make me happy, but only in small moments, far and few between. Looking back I know something was there, she’ll never know how she lingered in my head, even when I met somebody else.

For those weekends I had a chance to know what it was like. What it was like to wake up next to someone and smile; what it was like to have a lady to dote on; to have somebody to hold hands with down the street.

Like a dream, I suppose I always viewed her in the best possible light. Like a dream she represents much more than is actually there. Like a dream she gave me hope when the chips were down.

I cannot blame her for the choices she’s made and the direction she’s gone. It would be too narrow-minded to think like that.

She was a dream, a crush, a lovely vision that existed mostly in my head.

It’s time to wake up.

Tags: blog, feelings/reflections, girls, rants

Originally published at The Definitive Dmbosstone. Please leave any comments there.

Well another beach trip has come and gone. I already miss the beach and can’t wait for next year’s trip.

I didn’t accomplish any of the things I wanted to do while on the beach but I don’t care. What has now become my annual welcome into summer is more about relaxing and spending time with great friends. We had a really great group this year and I can’t tell anyone enough how much I enjoy this trip.

Now this won’t be the last you’ll hear me talk about The OBX, sometime this summer I’ll swim through 8 hours of tape and create some fun home videos!

Now it’s time to get awesome.

Tags: blog, debauchery, feelings/reflections, fun times with friends, obx, travel

Originally published at The Definitive Dmbosstone. Please leave any comments there.

“I’m gonna say something out loud that I’ve been doing a pretty good job of not saying out loud lately. What you and Tony have– what i thought for a second you and I had… …what i know that Marshall and Lily have… i want that. I do. I keep waiting for it to happen and waiting for it to happen, and… I guess I”m just, um… I’m tired of waiting. and that is all i’m going to say on that subject.” – Ted Mosby

Oh Ted, never have truer words have been spoken.

Because I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Tags: blog, favorites, feelings/reflections, girls, how i met your mother

Originally published at The Definitive Dmbosstone. Please leave any comments there.

Today I received a notice that a former Metblogs writer had passed away. He was a writer back in 2007- way before I started writing for them. I told the mother ship that I’d write a small post about his passing and I just started thinking about this guy I don’t know yet I know everything about.

In the age of websites, blogs, and Facebook,  I was able to find everything about him. It was weird and creepy to be reading the Facebook wall of a person that was deceased.  There were status messages about him cooking dinner and exchanges with his friends- now the top of the feed has messages of prayers, all following a message from his sister that said he was in the hospital.

Not only did this man leave behind friends and family, but he also leaves behind a footprint that is still fresh in the earth of The Internet. Thinking about me as a blogger and all of the other bloggers out there- we will all leave similar footprints when we leave as well. We will all leave incomplete posts and unmoderated comments in the queue and Facebook requests that will go unanswered. Much like the physical items, there is an online presence that we create as long as we walk The Earth.

I think of Randy Pausch and the words and images he’s left behind. His famous speech is now immortalized on video and in print. His online legacy will be slow to fade- but we may not be so lucky. The Internet can keep you alive forever, but it can also make you disappear in an instant. As time goes by pages will close and profiles will be deleted.

When I first heard of this news I also thought of a blog post I read last summer. Herb of DC, pondered what would happen to his blog if he died. I remember thinking how I often schedule posts ahead of time- writing them all out over a weekend afternoon. It could be possible that this blog would be alive for a few days longer than me.

Some somber thoughts to think about, how our lives and our legacies have changed with the advent of social media.

Update: Looks like Time Magazine decided to answer the question themselves.

Tags: blog, dc metblogs, death, favorites, feelings/reflections, randy pausch, rants

Originally published at The Definitive Dmbosstone. Please leave any comments there.

Last night I thought some more about Grad School, while my original long term plan was to get myself into grad school this fall- I’m not so sure.

Maybe it’s idea of taking on debt during a recession doesn’t seem right. Maybe it’s because Penelope Trunk is so against the idea of Grad School.

You can read her articles to hear all the reasons I shouldn’t be going to Grad School (well at least not now), here is my reasoning why I’d like to:

1. I’ve already spent a few years out in the real world, so I’m certainly not dodging real life. But maybe I haven’t been lost enough yet.
2. I enjoy the job I’m at and the industry I work in and I’d be pursuing a degree to make myself stronger in that field
3. Unlike the money pit of a Law, Medical, or MBA degree- I’m looking to get a professional masters (which I would complete in a couple of years) that I think would help me in other careers down the line if I ever do change (it’s not like I want an MFA or a masters in history.)
4. Maybe I don’t want to get that PhD in my lifetime but I do want to have a masters degree on that curriculum vitae someday.
5. I wouldn’t be pursuing a degree full-time, I’d probably still be working which helps counter some of the arguments of working vs. full-time study.

So what should I do? Try and get in this fall? Maybe wait it out a year or two til the economic climate gets better?

Tags: blog, feelings/reflections, grad school

Originally published at The Definitive Dmbosstone. Please leave any comments there.

Tonight I was reading a Washingtonian article on the best birthday bars in DC. I forwarded the article along to my birthday twins as inspiration for this year’s birthday bash.

That got me thinking about how I never celebrated my 25th birthday. My life was all sorts of busy at the time and having a birthday in December is terrible because everybody is always busy with holidays/finals/life to come out for any party you plan. But I’m not going to lie, as I remembered lack of birthday back in December I felt sad, disappointed, and angry.

Now I’m not here to whine and complain about nobody celebrating my birthday. I’m not Michael Scott. It’s not like people didn’t remember, I got tons of text messages, e-mails, facebook posts that proved to me that people cared for at least two seconds and I’m thankful for that.

What makes me sad is that I never had the chance to have all my different friends together in one room having fun and enjoying themselves.

It’s kinda weird because some of my best birthday moments have been around non-landmark years. The big quarterlife to me was an occasion to celebrate in a big way- but I didn’t. I didn’t really celebrate my 21st birthday either. The two best birthdays I’ve ever had were on my 23rd where my college friends surprised me with a Limo and ladies; and my 24th where I just had a great night out with friends that made me feel special. Ok maybe I am a little selfish, maybe I do want my friends to make me feel special- but doesn’t everyone deserve one day of the year that’s all about them? Regardless, I am really writing this as a mental note that this year I don’t want to screw it up. I want to bring back the three-way birthday party and I want it to be amazing.

Tags: birthday, blog, feelings/reflections, friends

Originally published at The Definitive Dmbosstone. Please leave any comments there.

As I was going out with my pal LJ this past weekend I found out that he was moving away this fall to start Grad school at Penn State.

He was only the latest in a wave of friends that will be moving away this summer. My friends Sarah and Falkor are moving to Atlanta as Sarah starts school at Emory and my friend Wendi will be starting law school somewhere in Boston, she hasn’t decided yet but it looks like the local option might not happen. One of my roommates is also moving away this summer.

I didn’t move to Northern Virginia without that fear. That fear of starting life over. Sure I had to find a job and a place to live but neither one of those tasks measures up to the thought of making friends and building up a whole new social network. For the first time in a long time I was starting over from scratch. Sure you could say college was like starting over but the environment of college lent itself to making friends and I had no trouble with that- which is why I was somewhat confident I’d be ok in DC after college… but only somewhat.

In my three years here I’ve been extremely thankful that I have been able to make many friends here. However I’ve had to say goodbye to quite a few in these years. One of my most trusted friends in the area recently told me her five year plan- and how it didn’t include a prolong stay in DC. It makes me sad to think about it.

Washington DC is known for being a transient city as people come and go as often as Presidents and lawmakers. But here’s the thing- I love DC. I love where I live, where I play, where I call home. It makes me really sad when I hear how another one of my friends decide to leave the place I love so much. I don’t know why that is, life is different for everyone and the winds of change will take different people on different paths, some away from here and away from me.

Sometimes I feel like I have this selfish want, the want for all my friends just stay here with me and we can all have a good time. However at the same time I do love my friends enough that I want to see them happy- and for some that means moving away from me.

So why am I really not looking forward to this Autumn? Maybe it’s the realization that my circle of friends will shrink a little bit and I walk a bit closer to returning to the place I was at when I first set foot in this state: alone.

I don’t want to think about having all my friends leave me but I do know one thing- if I did it once, I can do it again. In the big picture my network of friends will only grow larger as it has from day one. Just because my friends aren’t close by doesn’t mean they aren’t my friends.

So what will this fall by like? I don’t know.

Tags: blog, favorites, feelings/reflections, friends

Originally published at The Definitive Dmbosstone. Please leave any comments there.

It’s the new midlife crisis.

It’s become hip and cool to joke about the “quarterlife crisis.” The “oh shit” moment when you realize you aren’t in college any more; the fear and uncertainty that have fueled many applications to grad school; the little things that make you realize that you are no longer 21- and that maybe those four years may have been the best of your life.

When I turned 25 back in December I joked to my friends that I was looking forward to the crisis- it would be the biggest crisis  in my life since that time I had to decided who to start in my fantasy football league. The quarterlife crisis is a joke you can see on anyone’s Facebook wall when he/she turns 25.

After reading a thought provoking post over at Live It, Love It, I took a hot minute to take a quick inventory of signs that I am fully embracing my period of uncertainty of the future.

Recently I’ve found joy and pleasure with my return to theatre- an interest and hobby I’ve left dormant since I left high school and college. In fact part of the reason I enjoy the work is because it harks back to fond memories of working on the stage back home. It’s not a red sports car but could it be that I’m living vicariously through stage management?

When I wrote about actually enjoying conversation with my long lost relatives, a generation that is now married and having kids, am I quickly maturing my taste of nightlife?

Long gone are the days of heavy drinking and partying from Thursday – Sunday. I’m now on the “every other day” rule when it comes to how my body will enjoy wild Clarendon nights.

Last year I saw friends become engaged, friends unite in holy matrimony, and me still left without a girlfriend. Is my clock ticking as result of the new social landscape I find myself in?

Why am I asking so many questions without answering them? The attempt to build suspense is mediocre at best.

What I loved about Lilu’s post was the concept of having a foot in both camps. It is definitely the feeling I have as I ponder these thoughts.

The more popular Midlife Crisis is defined as, “A period of psychological doubt and anxiety that some people experience in middle age.” So is the Quarterlife crisis the same period but at an earlier stage of life?

It makes sense to think that, you are fresh out of college and all of a sudden you have a full-time job or struggling to look for work while the structured life you once lived is no longer there. You find yourself wondering, “what do I really want to do?” It’s no longer a question for the yearbook- you are now out there trying to make it come true. You may have doubts that you know where you want to go, or if you will really be able to realize the idyllic visions you had lying on the grass of the quad. All of a sudden the world looks harder to change than it did sitting in a classroom.

So is that what the Quarterlife crisis is to me? Not really.

It’s a transitional phase where you are still a kid in a grown up world. You may have a 9-5 job but you still play hard on the weekends. You may start having more happy-hours and dinner nights with your friends, but you are still tailgating at concerts and tearing up bar crawls downtown. You may have fond memories of living in a dorm but you are more than happy to be paying rent in house where there’s no RA to stop you from lighting candles and drinking beer.

You may no longer have awkward stories about your roommate walking in on you having sex- but now (if you are lucky) you no longer have awkward stories about your roommate walking in on you having sex.

And hopefully sex isn’t that awkward anymore.

It’s a time where you have a chance to look at the landscape and realize maybe you don’t want to do what you studied in college- but now you know what you want and you will be a happier person for finding it.

The quarterlife crisis maybe a period of doubt, but it doesn’t mean that you are hopeless. To me it’s just another transition and even though we may be afraid of change, it’s the spice of life that keeps things interesting.

I look back at the first quarter of my life and I have my moments I’ll never forget, but I’ll never think they were the best times of my life. The best times of my life are ahead of me and they are right now.

And for me, that’s how I’m doing splits in the grown up world.

Tags: blog, family, favorites, feelings/reflections, friends, quarterlife crisis, rants, theatre, weddings

Originally published at The Definitive Dmbosstone. Please leave any comments there.

When I was in school I would often get chain e-mails from friends (and non-friends.) They came in all sorts of different colors and shapes and often begged you to forward them to a number of people or risk being alone forever or bad luck for the next century. Pretty big threats to conduct such a harmless action. By playing on our fears and superstitions, these e-mails propagate themselves throughout the interwebs like a giant game of hot potato. Makes me want to grab a certificate for breaking chain letters so I can stop them once and for all.

There are also those forwards that contain funny photos, jokes, or maybe even a video (be careful about opening those at work- you never know what your friends’ sense of humor is like.) I can’t forget those “petitions” that get forwarded because we believe they are going to start charging for Facebook or that they are going to close down AOL Instant Messenger. There are also the “surveys” that people fill out, things like favorite color and first kiss. We hate filling out forms whether it’s at the DMV or at the doctor’s office- so why do we relish filling out 100 questions in an e-mail? Most blame boredom at work, some want to forward them to their closest friends and “that person that sent it to you.” The latter hope that they receive random information from their friends later, in an easy to ready format. It kinda takes the work out of friendship- just e-mail me your details so I don’t have to learn them through years of hanging out.

Of course are we really going to remember these details? I still often forget that some of my friends are vegetarians and others like the TV show Lost. I was friends with Wendi for a year, always confused if she was Jewish or not (I knew she went to Brandeis but I totally thought she told me she wasn’t.)

So the chain letters and the surveys stopped coming into my inbox, it got way too old for us. However surveys still run rampant on MySpace and LiveJournal, but they are mostly posted by those still in high school.

So I have to say that I have noticed that there’s been a Facebook meme spreading throughout my social network. 25 Things has shown up in the majority of my friends notes for the past two weeks. The meme instructs you to: “write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, confessions, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.”

It’s the same ol’ tricks but new platform. While we may not know everyone’s e-mail- we certainly have lots of friends on Facebook.

Now here’s the hypocritical part, while I just spent most of my post ranting about them I am about to share with you 25 things about myself. I don’t usually fill out surveys but this one isn’t asking for my favorite color.

My recent writings on PostSecret has shown me that we are living in a society yearning for openness. We want to share more about ourselves in a search to know the “real” in people.

So allow me to share with you a few rare things about myself.

And yes I’m going to tag some people on this blog- but just the ones that tagged me on theirs.

25 Things About Patrick

1. I believe nobody reads this blog- thus I feel totally comfortable with sharing the following facts.
2. When I spent the weekend doing nothing I feel like I’m missing out by not going out.
3. I hate it when friends/roommates/co-workers leave my life, I am secretly afraid that people I like hanging out with in DC are all going to leave me and I’ll have to start over by myself again.
4. I’ve pretty much never had a girlfriend, that doesn’t mean I don’t go out with girls- I’ve just never had a girlfriend.
5. I secretly like to obnoxiously drive in my shitty car with my bass turned up.
6. I’ve always felt like my appearance wasn’t good enough but now I want to tell people to suck it.
7. I know I am going to achieve great things and I haven’t stopped working to make that happen.
8. The biggest reason I go to so many sporting events is because I want to make sure all my friends have a chance to enjoy the Suite as much as I do.
9. I feel like I’ve wasted my day if I get up after 10 AM.
10. I have so many video projects I’d love to work on but I lack the discipline to hole myself in my room to finish them all.
11. Every week I will eat Sushi or Kabobs at least once.
12. Every day I try and drink my 8 glasses of water, it leads to lots of bathroom breaks.
13. When I go out with Rebecca and Adam I can be often found smoking when drinking- what can I say I’m still peer pressurable.
14. I love playing fantasy football and fantasy baseball.
15. Something happened to me in middle school that will probably forever influence the way I communicate with people.
16. I would love to improve at the following casual activities: bowling, billiards, poker.
17. I get a haircut at the top of every month, you don’t want to see my hair grow out.
18. I first started to grow out my facial hair in the winters due to a compliment by a Vice-President at my workplace.
19. I chase girls I shouldn’t chase.
20. I live by the golden rule- I treat all my friends the way I would like to be treated.
21. Back in middle school Rebecca stereotyped my type of girl and she’s been right ever since.
22. I get really girly songs stuck in my head- right now it’s Beyonce’s “Single Ladies.”
23. I write for three blogs and I might add a fourth. It’s a real chore sometimes but I enjoy writing my thoughts- and I often laugh that I’ve gone from a C student in English to avid blogger.
24. I am a news geek- I have it on at work all day.
25. I’ve never been in love.

Tags: blog, chain letters, fantasy sports, favorites, feelings/reflections, food, friends, live journal, lost, myspace, postsecret, rants

Originally published at The Definitive Dmbosstone. Please leave any comments there.

I started 2008 with a lot of drinks, a whole lot of kisses, and  some frustration. The second half of 2008 sped by me as I work kept me busy and stressed. The travel, the weekends on the job, the extra hours in the office all made it hard to realize that it’s already 2009. But it is and I am lucky to now have a chance to rest, relax, and reflect on what exactly just occurred.

One thing that I’m proud of in 2008 was the changes I’ve made to this blog. Patrick told me a couple of weeks ago that I’ve been blogging, “before it was called blogging.” I have had a website where I write my thoughts since high school but this was the year that I really think I got the whole thing down.

Besides bringing the technology of the site into the new millennium, I also took a look at my writing style and really tried to find a format that makes sense for me and hopefully makes my writing more interesting to read for you. I credit the changes from the increased exposure I had to other blogs. Looking back 2008 was the year I really learned what blogging was all about even though I’ve been doing it since the mid 90s.

There’s also one more change that I’m kinda happy about:

I don’t like bringing a lot of attention to it cause I don’t want to be really obnoxious about it. I also think I have a long ways to go before I’m totally hot- but I’m getting there. Weird that I actually think that I might be good looking- well at least more good looking than I usually think I am. In 2008 I lost 20 lbs and maybe if I’m lucky I won’t gain it all back. This is the only time I’m going to mention my weight publicly- I already get embarrassed enough when coworkers bring it up. However after these holidays I’m going to have to redouble my efforts.

The end of 2008 also found me in different surroundings. While I still live in Arlington, I moved out of Cleveland Street onto Highland street. While it wasn’t a big move, I am absolutely in love with the new house I love in it’s great living with Sarah and Caroline. I am really happy here and I think a my new digs will play a big role in 2009.

School

I’ve spent this past year doing some thinking about where I want to go next with school. I definitely want to go to Grad School, I want the additional experience, knowledge, and credentials that an additional degree brings. This year I started looking at different schools and programs. At first I was looking at film & video programs but I realized that while I’d love to get another degree in that area- I already have a deep background there and I wanted to learn something different. I have decided that I want to learn more about PR/Communications so I can continue to expand my role at work.

My goal this year is work on applying and getting into a program for Fall 2009, it will be an interesting year to start up school again.

Work

Last year I wanted to make an impact at work for 2008 and that certainly has happened. This year I have stepped up into a bigger role in the company. I’ve taken on more responsibilities and I have seen a huge increase in work especially towards the second half of the year. During this past summer and fall I got involved in regular trips between Washington DC and Boston where I have been involved in a lot of different projects in both locals. While the work this year resulted long work hours, days, and weeks; it was nice to find myself back home a few extra times this year.

I don’t know what 2009 will bring but this break has given me a chance to rest and reflect and I’m ready to take on the beast again for another year. This year I hope to not lose a step and continue to make the impact I’ve been making in 2008.

Friends

2008 was a great year with my friends. Work has been different without Chanelle and I certainly miss the Chanelle-ness she brought to the job. Work has also a bit more intense for everyone which has led to less lunch hours with Krissy and Mallory. However Pho lunches with Krissy, Gloria, and Kristen need to continue in 2009. However Ryan and Neal and I were able to get together for poker this year and a goal this year is to host some Poker nights at my new place. Looks like I’ll be losing lots of money this year. It’s another goal to have

Without Chanelle there’s certainly been a different dynamic in the office with Peter and Dave- my office is definitely now a gentleman’s club. Talk about sports, and female cable personalities fills our day and I love every minute of it. It’s also been great to have Peter around to help me root for our local sports teams.

As always I had some great times with my MoCo favorites (Sarah, Falkor, Doug, Katie, Emily), while they live a bit further now we managed to still get together for some nights out on the town, sporting events, and Thanksgiving football game I’ll never forget thanks to Falkor. Katie and I have shared many conversations- unfortunately most of them revolved around cougars and her boss. All of us (and Stephanie) have shared many awesome trips, including numerous rampant nights in Baltimore. 2009 will be different with Sarah and Falkor leaving for Africa- thank goodness they will be coming back for the OBX!

I had some great times with Rebecca, Adam, and company. Whether it was a July 4th bar crawl, a night out at Local 16, or even a night of Monopoly, I always have a great time with them. They have also become close confidants to a lot of life’s situations.

In 2008 LJ and I enjoyed numerous Red Sox games while pulling me into ridiculous fantasy football leagues. Adam made sure both of us were actively involved with the Obama campaign whenever possible.

I’m always able to laugh when I’m with Wendi and I’m happy we’ve been able to catch each other when we do.  I have to admit I haven’t gotten to spend a whole lot of time with Ian but hopefully we’ll be able to catch up soon.

Back home in Massachusetts I’ve had plenty of chances to keep up with Dave, and Bill thanks to my business trips. 2008 also saw me reconnecting with Jimmy Clancy and his new wife. I continue to keep in touch with Patrick even though he’s always in a different state every time we catch up. 2008 was also the year Sean moved back to Massachusetts form Florida, and now the crew was complete this year. Good times were had with Sean, Mike, and Joe- including my first game at Fenway Park and a crazy night on Emily’s birthday.

I now expect two things to happen every year during the holidays: an annual reunion of Me, Phil, and Tessa; and an annual gossip lunch with OC.

I also got to reconnect with a whole group of DMB friends this year, Alyssa, Kristen, and Michele. Now that Alyssa and Michele live in Boston, they are two more names I’ll have to add to the “must see” list when I go back home.

Friends like Carolyn and Laura moving away while others like Michael Anthony Gregorio move in. DC is a transient region so I treasure all the moments I get to spend with all of my friends.

Family

I started getting weird e-mails this fall. They were from various colleges and universities trying to get my to apply to their schools for an undergraduate degree. When I saw that the e-mails were addressed to Daniel, I realized someone has mistaken my e-mail for his and I got spammed. It’s weird to think that my little brother is almost ready to go to college.

While that’s going my sister Kim is making waves at FSC, finishing a summer in Europe and getting ready for Junior year. Man I’m starting to feel old. Meanwhile Diana is continuing to impress me with all the great books that are being pumped out at her publishing house. Her and Mike also got engaged in 2008.

2009 has lots to look forward to with my family, my favorite cousin Christina is turning 21 and will continue to rip up UMass and this month I get to catch up with my favorite Aunt.

Love

I went out with Rebecca this past weekend and she told me that she never knew a time that I wasn’t seeing someone. That is such a weird statement. But then again my game has never been as good as it’s been. 2008 was by far the busiest year when it comes to women, and I’m glad to say that I was able to keep crazy FSC bitches out of them… well for the most part…it’s funny how some women just never go away. It’s also funny how things can pick up just where they left off after some time.

I also randomly hooked up with some girl from New Jersey. Always awesome to do the walk of shame from L’enfant Plaza.

This summer I dated a number of interesting women. Two were summer flings, the kind that come into town and before you know it they are gone just as fast as they came. One was a Senior over at Harvard- could she be the smartest person I’ve ever dated? She’s probably not as smart as the Carnegie Mellon grad that’s now working as a programming at Microsoft. She was a student of Randy Pausch, a great man who I (and many others) learned about this year and was sad to see him pass on. Miss Seattle also led me to another girl whom I dated a couple of times but wasn’t anything special, she did laugh at all my jokes however.

I briefly dated one of Sarah’s co-workers and while she was really fun and has introduced me to everything Eastern Market has to offer, I could see she was never going to be available the way I wanted it to be.

Nobody is going to let me live down Sean’s wedding. It’s going to be a memory for me right up there with Minneapolis. At least I still talk to both girls.

Also let’s never forget about that teacher from Walpole. I’ve never felt so honored in my life. Maybe I should just spent the rest of my days as Cougar bait.

The day before Halloween I met Carrie and so far she wins the record for girl I’ve dated the most. Then again it’s a pretty easy record to set. She’s been very good to me these past few months.

As always I have no love goals for 2009- I will continue to play everything out just like I always do.

Travel & Special Events

2008 has to be the year of the weddings. I went to a lot of them.

The first one was Jimmy Clancy’s and it was a trip down high school memory lane. The ceremony was at St. Mary’s where I spent my days as a Boy Scout and ended at Andover Country Club where we had our senior banquet.

After that it was Rebecca and Adam’s wedding and I have to say that it was by far one of the craziest weddings I’ve been to. Anytime I get a knock on the door the next day from a half dressed Paul Depoian means that it was a good time.

Melanie and Jim’s wedding was the most artsy, they had a really interesting arrangement at the altar. While I was only 1 of 2 FSC representatives there I still managed to have a good time with all of their friends.

I lucked into Sean and Amanda’s wedding and I definitely made the most of it. That’s all I gotta say.

2009 will bring probably only 1 wedding but I’m going to need a break after this past year of weddings.

2008 saw another great trip to the OBX- right now I’m working on the videos for them and hopefully get them out before our next trip in May. It was great having a record 30 people come down. What probably made 2008 was the Jenga and the flag stealing. While 2009 will see a crowd not that high, it will still be great times.

Once again I also made a trip out to Hershey, PA to Hershey Park. This time we also got to celebrate Falkor’s birthday in a local bar across the street from the hotel. I’ve never seen a bar tab that high til that night.

I also made 2 Obama related road trips this year: one to Philadelphia and another to Roanoke. I’m really happy with the work and travel I put into the campaign and I hope that in the future I will continue to become active election campaigns.

There were some DMB trips made this year, the first one was to SPAC where I got visit Diana along the way. The other was at Nissan Pavilion where I went to LeRoi Moore’s last show.

I finally found some time to take the trip into Pittsburgh, I visited Melanie and Jim and experienced a little bit of what the Steel City has to offer. I was surprised at the how short the trip was and it’s definitely not out of the question for a repeat trip in 2009.

I certainly traveled a whole lot in 2008. I hope to do some more in 2009. Is this the year for the Cruise? Is this the year for Canada? Maybe it’s finally time for me to visit the West Coast- who knows where I’m traveling in 2009, but I will probably figure it out for this summer.

Hobbies

Last year I wrote about finding a new hobby besides fantasy sports. Well I have to say that I’ve taken blogging into a new level that it’s become a serious pastime of mine. In 2008 I became a contributor to DC Metblogs and it has kept me busy. This winter I was also given the opportunity to get back into a long lost passion- theatre. In early 2009 I will be working on a production with the Arlington Players and I hope that 2009 will see more headway into a possible comeback into theatre.

Are there other crazy activities I might get into? I’d want to make a goal but I can see that 2009 maybe busy enough.

In Conclusion

2008 was a crazy busy year for me on many fronts. While I have been busy with many things I’ve seen myself change in many ways. All along the way I’ve still been rely on the support and encouragement of all my friends and family.

I hope 2009 will be a year that helps define my future here in Washington DC. I hope that this year I figure out my school situation and that I continue to explore new and old passions and hobbies.

I also hope to that I can look to a summer of fun travels, starting with the OBX and ending with who knows what.

But the biggest resolution I want to make is to have a good time and to make others happy- because isn’t that all we want in life?

Tags: baltimore, barack obama, blog, boston, debauchery, election 2008, family, favorites, feelings/reflections, friends, fun times with friends, grad school, hershey park, l'enfant plaza, new york, nissan pavillion, obx, philadelphia, poker, randy pausch, roanoke, u-street, umass, washington dc, webpage, weddings, work, year in review

Originally published at The Definitive Dmbosstone. Please leave any comments there.

This is a post that’s I have waited a long time to write.

Now that some time has passed and I feel that I am finally able write about a big change in my life.

It all starts with a story.

It was the Tuesday before Halloween, I had just got back from the gym and I was in the kitchen preparing my usual post-workout shake. As I was mixing the whey with the milk I heard a distant crash. I thought it was a glass bottle that Simon, my roommate upstairs, may have thrown out his room. Knowing Simon that wouldn’t be something out of the ordinary. It was when what I heard next that told me that it was something totally different.

“Oh my god! Jeff are you ok? Somebody call 911!”

With those words my life took a sudden turn to the unexpected.

I ran outside around to the side of the house, where Simon has a staircase that goes directly into his second story bedroom. I look up and I see Simon in a frantic state. I asked him what happened and he told me that Jeff fell off the staircase.

It was around 11:30 PM and pitch black- I ran back into my room to grab my trusty Mag-Light and ran back outside. I flicked it on and I immediately saw Jeff in the brush next to the stairs. He landed on the concrete walkway leading up to the stairs. A wooden bench next to the stairs broke the fall for his legs.

As Simon ran back into his house to grab his cell phone I walked up to Jeff. I was immediately relieved to hear him breathe- although he struggled to do so and it sound more like snoring than breathing. There was blood coming out of his nose and it looked as if he cut his hand on the way down. It goes to say he wasn’t conscious at all.

Simon ran down while talking with the 911 operator and rambled on and on as panic just took over him. I tried to take control of the situation- telling Simon not to move Jeff and handed him my flashlight. I knew that help was right around the corner and I ran back into the house to get another flash light.

I stood in the middle of the street and waived down the on-coming Calvary of help. fire trucks, ambulances, and police cruisers arrived within minutes of Simon’s call. The one good thing about where I live is that it is close to everything.

I watched from the porch as they worked on him. Police were already interviewing Simon about what happened. It appears that both of them had been drinking and Simon suspected that Jeff stepped out onto the staircase for a quick smoke or piss. An officer walked up to me and took my statement.

Slowly Jeff was taken away and one by one the authorities left the house. Simon was still in a state of shock and anger. Jeff was his best friend and I could see the emotional toll it had on him. He was calling everyone on his phone and couldn’t stop talking.

I drove Simon to the hospital where we found out that Jeff was in critical condition. However since we were not family the information we had access to was limited.

It’s now two weeks since the accident occurred. Jeff is recovering slowly and steadily from a broken neck, back, and ribs- amongst many other injuries. It goes without saying that he’s lucky to be alive after that night.

Today Sarah and I have signed a new lease with a new house nearby. It’s a smaller house but it’s in great shape and Sarah and I look forward to moving past this incident and starting a new chapter of life in Arlington.

There’s a whole lot I’m leaving out of this blog. I feel that it maybe too soon to talk about all the details and there are a lot of feelings associated with those details I’m not ready to write about. The accident started a chain of events that brought a lot of stress and turmoil to my life. That Tuesday was the first week after a long stretch of work and I was looking forward to being able to relax and recenter myself. The accident has kept my life in constant motion but the move this weekend will bring some closure.

Life sometimes brings unexpected events through no fault of your own. While you can criticize and lay blame to these moments, I feel that it is exactly these moments that define who you are as a person. I didn’t ask for these things to happen to myself but I am damn proud about the way I handled it and I walk away from it a better person.

Now it is time to start a new chapter in my life.

Tags: arlington, blog, clarendon, favorites, feelings/reflections, roommates

Originally published at The Definitive Dmbosstone. Please leave any comments there.

My mind doesn’t want to stop.

It’s 6:41 AM the day after Melanie’s wedding. I haven’t slept one bit.

I want to say it’s because I’ve been partying all night or maybe I’ve been up all night having mind blowing sex with some amazing, gorgeous woman but I have to dissapoint. I don’t know why I have been so restless but I think it may have been all the caffine in the sodas I have been consuming. Were they serving Pepsi Max at that reception?

Well I guess I was going to write things later today- might as well do it now and maybe I’ll get tired enough to take a nap.

Maybe it all started on the plane ride.

There was a couple sitting in the row across from me. They exuded that they were happy to be in one another’s company. I don’t know why but it just caught my eye. While it’s always nice to feel happy for a happy couple I found myself with a different feeling.

Jealousy.

As I walked out of the airport surrounded by strangers, passing me by as they continue on with their own lives- why do I look at some with scorn, not because I dislike them, but because they have something that I do not.

This envy is just a sign of the passion I have and yearn at the same time.

As I continue this burnt out stage of my life I find myself focusing more on these things as I struggle to regain some sort of harmony in my life.

Fast forward to now- while I enjoyed the wedding I just attended it does nothing but dredge up familiar feelings.

As friendly and personable as I try to be, the truth of the matter is I was secretly alone tonight. It was hard going to a wedding by yourself where you don’t know anyone at all. I tried to make the best of it- I tried really hard, but at the end I’m sitting on the sidelines watching once again.

I couldn’t help but smile at a couple- this time I wasn’t jealous but happy. Happy that these two people found what I am still looking for. Happy that Melanie and Jim have found what I am looking for. It’s a different kind of feeling than what I felt before but in the end it is all the same.

I look at myself and start trying to figure it out- what is it that I am doing- not doing- doing wrong.

It’s now 7 AM and I post a photo of a bench. My mind is still restless, refusing to sleep, refusing to stop.

Something I won’t forget is a speech at Rebecca’s wedding. She’s been very successful in life but in this speech it mentioned that despite every accomplishment there was still something missing, something incomplete. That is the feeling I have each and every day. I work hard day in and day out and while I have so much to show for it, I feel like there is a piece missing in my life.

I thought of this bench because all I’d love right now is have someone to sit on that bench with.

And I can’t wait for the day that happens.

Tags: blog, favorites, feelings/reflections, girls, rants, stress

Originally published at The Definitive Dmbosstone. Please leave any comments there.

In high school I was voted “Most Stressed” in the yearbook. The joke was that I was even stressed about getting the honor (I really wanted to be featured in the yearbook.)

In college I was often pulling all-nighters to keep up with the video projects and papers I was writing- everyone does it. I often pulled them more than often towards the end of the semester. One night I was talking with Melanie about it back in college and she sent me an article on the stages of burnout (much like this one.) I read it and walked around self-identifying myself as a stage three mess.

Now I am out in the real world and once again- I am a stage three mess.

I will not get into a lot of detail on this one but I’ve simply been working 6-7 day weeks, and recently I got caught up in a long week of long nights. I’ve been traveling a lot on the weekends- which can be exciting but has been taxing on my free time. I feel like all I do is I work, I go home and I just zone out- what rally bothers me is that I’m struggling to do work on anything other than work. I feel that I struggle to keep up with everything around me. Energy wise I’m just dead. When it comes to my soul battery- I feel it draining. I don’t know how long this is going to last but I have a feel it’s going to be a sprint to the end of the year. Let’s hope I can make the run.

I haven’t been doing a lot to recap but there has been a couple of items. Last weekend I went out with Carolyn and Hillary to Eastern Market. It’s a neighborhood I don’t normally go out in- as we came out of the metro and saw numerous police cars close off 8th street for a drug bust and we realized why that was. It’s definitely a neighborhood I will be exploring further in the future… if I have some time…

This weekend I flew back to Boston for work- I found some time to see a few friends however. Mike, Joe (and his girlfriend Amy), and I went to Fenway Park to see the Blue Jays/Red Sox game. This was my first game at Fenway since I was like 12. I hardly remembered anything about the park so I was excited to have the opportunity to see a game.

Fenway Park is not like the modern era parks like Camden Yards and Nationals Park. It’s clear that the park has a historic character to it. Everything from the uneven corridors to the cramped seating to the confusing layout- throw in the eclectic assortment of refreshment booths and stands and it all comes together to make the interior of the park resemble Coney Island. It was like I was walking on the boardwalk.

The park is smaller than it looks on TV. Mike got us seats in the far right field corner in the grandstand and we still had a good view of the game. Despite the view all of us just threw back the $7 beers and caught up and reminisced. It made me realize how much I miss the good ol’ college days together.

I saw a whole lot of people while I was at the game. While waiting for Mike and Joe to arrive I ran into Melanie who came back home from Pittsburgh. On the T back to my hotel I also ran into Chrissy Liscombe. I swear it’s a small world at Fenway.

Before flying back to DC I had a chance to spend the afternoon with Bill watching football, I saw most of the Jets/Patriots game- it was exciting down to the last minute. I’m thrilled that the Matt Cassel era didn’t start so terrible as it could of. Let’s see how we do down the stretch.

Well this week and weekend I’ll be in DC but I’ll be working a lot as usual, it’s hard to keep it together during times like these but I am determined to stay focused and I know by staying focused and with the support of my friends everything will end up alright.

Tags: blog, blue jays, boston, college, debauchery, eastern market, feelings/reflections, fenway park, fun times with friends, girls, high school, matt cassel, patriots, red sox, stress

Originally published at The Definitive Dmbosstone. Please leave any comments there.

The obvious downside to writing about your life is how much of your personal life do you reveal.

Luckily I only have probably 3 readers so I don’t worry too much about it- however I have gotten then “hey you don’t write about me/us/them” from time to time. As much as I like to be open on my blog, I’m closed at the same time. I’ve chosen to go on and on about some topics (like Fantasy Football) and try and save face on other situations (like crazy girls.)

I’d love to be cool like Matthew Berry and just write about crazy girl stories all the time.

Am I ranting about a crazy girl story this week? Don’t have one at the moment- girls have been relatively not crazy since the one from back in 2006. In fact part of the craziness involved me writing about her in this blog (how ironic.) I’d worry about her reading this and taking offense that she’s crazy but she probably doesn’t read this anymore-and she’s no longer on this continent. Thank goodness for low readership.

Instead I want to write a couple more words on my biggest pet peeve. Not calling back. I touched about it before earlier- basically I feel like the situation becomes a lose-lose scenario. Let’s say you call a girl tells you she’s going to call (maybe she texted you or maybe you called her and she couldn’t stay on the phone) you and she doesn’t call you.

Easy message to read: She doesn’t want to talk to you- move on. Eventually if a girl doesn’t really put a lot of effort to talk to you she’s really saying, “I don’t want to talk to you. Get out of my face. Counting change in my ashtray is worth more time than calling you.” Basically it’s the cowardly way women reject men. I say if you want to reject me you can say it to my face. Message delivered loud and clear- hell I got one recently and I’m still standing. Men can take it- and if a guy can’t take it then they he’s just going to grow up a little.

But let’s be optimistic, maybe the girl is busy (like genuinely busy- not washing my hair kind of busy.) Maybe she lost her phone, maybe she got abducted by aliens. Something probably happened right? I mean why wouldn’t she call be a good-looking guy like you? (am I being too optimistic now?)

Ok so let’s say you want to be optimistic about it- how do you go about it so you aren’t chasing her to the point it just looks pathetic? If I am sensative about something it’s not wanting to become someone’s lunchtime gossip story. Who wants to be like the, “Oh my god this boy just wouldn’t leave me alone” kind of story?

Hmmm thinking about that though, maybe there’s a point a person just doesn’t give a fuck what other people think and just do whatever they feel like. Maybe if you feel disrespected you should say so. If we expect women to be loud and clear shouldn’t guys be such at the same time? Isn’t that what being yourself all about?

I think I just answered my own question, now watch it blow up in my face.

Tags: blog, feelings/reflections, girls, matthew berry, rants

Originally published at The Definitive Dmbosstone. Please leave any comments there.

In the United States we drive on the right side of the road. On the Metro you don’t stand on the left side of the escalator. There is no smoking inside an airplane restroom. You don’t wear Sunglasses at night (unless you are Corey Hart.)

There are many rules in life, some written and some unwritten. We have them for a variety of reasons, some to maintain order, some to protect yourself and others. Others have become convention of the society we live in.

Sometimes rules drive me crazy. Sometimes rules are barriers, restrictions from the way I truly express myself. But during those moments I remember why we have rules, to not only protect yourself from bodily harm but also social harm. It’s classify yourself as a psycho- just don’t follow the social rules. I’m not talking about gothic/emo/industrial people who classify themselves as “rebels”. The way you dress and the music you listen to is just an expression of yourself. I’m talking about the things we do in order to appear a certain way or to prevent oneself from appearing a certain way.

The rules I want to rant about are the rules of dating.

When I think about the rules I immediately think about the book written by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider in 1995. I did some research and I was amazed to see it has spun off into a whole franchise of books. Let’s take a look at several of the rules in those and why I hate them:

• Rule #2: Don’t Talk to a Man First (and Don’t Ask Him to Dance) - As a guy I’ll tell you that most of us can’t dance and probably don’t like to dance- so I understand where this is coming from. I also know that girls LOVE to dance, so I it’s kinda subservient to ask the female to cater to a typical guy’s preference. Also as much as the male role is when it comes to taking the lead- there is nothing wrong with talking to a guy first. I wouldn’t say guys should just sit there and wait- but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a girl making the first move if she wanted to.
• Rule #4: Don’t Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date - Here’s another rule that I agree with but not completely. Of course I am going to pay for the first date (and probably more), but if I notice over time that a girl is playing the “free meal plan” (I’m talking to you Chanelle) that says something to me. This brings in a move that happens called “the reach.” That’s when a girl will reach for her pocketbook to show that she’s is willing to chip-in/pay. When I see that of course I’m going to stop her and pay the bill- but at least I know she respected me and wasn’t taking me for granted. So I do agree with this rule seeing you aren’t presumptuous with it.
• Rule #5: Don’t Call Him & Rarely Return His Calls – I hate hate hate this rule the most. To me how am I supposed to know if you are interested if you do not call me or return my calls? As a guy there’s also rules that dictate that you should’t be calling a girl too often/much- so it’s like a Mexican standoff where both sides don’t want to contact each other, and to that I think it’s stupid. Nothing drives me crazier than when I’m interested in a girl but I can’t tell if she’s interested back due to her lack of contact- but will it drive me to chase? Not always because as a guy you have to make sure you don’t look desperate or needy.

I enjoy how a follow-up book, The Rules for Marriage: Time-Tested Secrets for Making Your Marriage Work was released during Fein’s separation from her husband. Looks like these secrets may not be so time-tested after all.

So besides the book there are other rules that drive me crazy:

• Wait 48-72 hours to call a girl – Maybe I’d wait 24 hours if I’m really interested but I get this one but I hate following it. I usually get out of it by adhering to…
• Always call a girl when you say you are going to call her – If I tell a girl I’m going to give her a call, then I’ll follow up. So sometimes I’ll tell her I’ll call her the next day.
• Thou shalt not seem too enthusiastic- Here’s my problem, I’m excited about everything. Hell I’d be excited if I found out I have to fly to South Dakota for business tomorrow. Of course I probably would realize why no one is excited about South Dakota once I’d get there. I’m a naturally excited person so I hate having to keep it in- but I do try because nobody likes a crazy guy.

So I struggle to contain myself thanks to rules- but maybe I need to just listen to my friend Rebecca, who says there are no rules. I like that rule better.

Tags: blog, ellen fein, favorites, feelings/reflections, girls, rants, sherrie schneider, the rules

Originally published at The Definitive Dmbosstone. Please leave any comments there.

My friend, co-worker, and fellow Asian Kristen has written an interesting post over on my company’s blog. The post referenced how subsidized group trips to Taiwan is just one of the many lengths people are going to in an effort to combat the rise in inter-racial dating amongst Asians. Besides the decline in Asians marrying one another, there is also a growing disconnect in heritage and ancestry.

As a first generation Vietnamese-American I have a few thoughts on the topic. First off my racial identity has always been something I’ve thought (and often joked) about. My New England upbringing wasn’t like many other Asian Americans I’ve met. I grew up learning English as my primary language and the while the culture was there; it was never really forced upon me. I was put into school where I was often the only Asian in class. I was surrounded by white people and their habits kinda rubbed off on me. Not until I got into High School did I really see how other Asians interacted. I noticed that they all stuck together, their circles were made up of fellow Asians with an occasional token white person. I was the opposite- I surround my circles with others and I would become the token person. I didn’t see myself any different than the friends I chose to have.

Secondly, I did the stereotypical Asian things sometimes: I played the violin up until Senior Year and I took Honors and AP classes (however not as many as the other Asians.) When I was in sixth grade I tried to play little league baseball and I failed horribly- I guess I’m no Hideki Matsui. For the longest time I thought I was going to become a doctor, but then I grew up and realized that’s what my parents wanted. Again, how stereotypical is it for me to think about pursuing a career in medicine or computer science. However that’s where the stereotypical things end.

Today I saw a rather funny comedy routine by a Korean comedian Esther Ku which really sums up my take on dating. While my family often asked if I would be interesting in dating other Asians my position is summed up in her words, “I don’t wanna date an Asian [girl]- I like regular people.” Regular people was a growing trend in my family, since I was born I’ve seen the majority of cousins marry outside my race. I now enjoy seeing my mixed second cousins at family functions. Currently and in the past I’ve dated mostly white girls and it’s not that I’m against dating within my race- I just find myself attracted to other races the majority of the time.

So sure- sometimes I’ll throw up the peace sign and enjoy eating at Pho 75, but I sometimes also enjoy looking like a Prep, Wes Anderson movies, and very rarely- Asian Girls.

Tags: asians, blog, favorites, feelings/reflections, girls, high school, rants

Originally published at The Definitive Dmbosstone. Please leave any comments there.

The quote that best encapsulate how I feel right now and what’s happening around me:

Adam Leavitt: What did you say to Mayes to get her to stop crying?
Ronald Fleury: I said we were going to kill them all.

Tags: blog, feelings/reflections, stress

Originally published at The Definitive Dmbosstone. Please leave any comments there.

So I guess nobody is perfect. Everybody tried calling me, texting me, after the big game. They must of thought I wasn’t watching the Giants squeaking over the Patriots. Well I was watching the game in my Laurence Maroney jersey in a room of friends. It was unfortunate for me that it was a group of friends dead set on hating on the Patriots every minute of the game.

This Patriots season has been tough for me. In DC people were not very high on the Patriots in the wake of Spygate and friends and co-workers let me have it every chance they could. Perhaps one of the most interesting things about living away from home is the suddenly being the only one around who roots for your hometown team. Nobody I knew wanted the Patriots to win and with every record broken, every step closer to 16-0 I just heard nothing but terrible things for the team I love. I was targeted as the one from Boston who likes the team that everyone loves to hate.
Some hate the Patriots because of the obnoxious fans that have grown out of this perfect season. I enjoyed the game tonight in silence for fear that I would easily be written off as yet another obnoxious Patriots fan. I am very proud of where I am from but at the same time I believe in courtesy and I do not wish to antagonize others in rooting for my favorite team. I refused to be that obnoxious fan.

I will be ok with this loss. Growing up in Boston I have had my share of disappointing losses. I remember 1996 when the Patriots lost to the Packers in Super Bowl 31. There are also countless times the Red Sox let us down in their quest to break the curse. People in Boston are used to this and we will get through it.

What I will not be ok with is the fallout I now get to hear from my co-workers and friends. It was a close fought game tonight that could of gone anyone’s way. I’ve been saying for weeks that the Patriots have played many close games recently and I do not believe the game was going to be a blowout- it would come down to a matter of points and it did. I tried myself to not be an obnoxious fan yet I fear I will be treated like one with the many people I now work and live with. I get to be the target for happy fans that want to rub salt in the wounds of all Boston fans. Because making someone feel worse is the way they themselves can feel better. I know that if I was back home I would be able to do what I want to do now. Just take the loss in peace and look forward to next season. Now I get to face jeers with everyone I see.

It’s going to be a great week.

Tags: blog, feelings/reflections, giants, patriots, spygate, super bowl